If you love guns, the idea of guns or just having guns, PLEASE READ!
Congress is discussing HR 45 Blair Holt Firearm Licensing & Record of Sales Act of 2009.
It very important for you to be aware of a new bill HR 45 introduced into the House. This is the Blair Holt Firearm Licensing & Record of Sale Act of 2009. It was announced yesterday on the Peter Boyle (remember him? He played Frankenstein’s monster in Young Frankenstein) radio program. Gun enthusiasts and hunters didn't know about this because it is flying under the radar. Changes in Federal law concerning guns would be:
The gun has to be registered
In addition to the 5 day waiting period, there will be an addition 90 waiting period
You are to be fingerprinted
You must supply a current stool sample
You must supply a current Driver's License
You have to promise to not be affiliated with Al-Qaeda
You must supply your Social Security #
You must be female
You must promise not to shoot anyone in the face and claim that it was an “accident”
You must wear a GPS on your belt at all times
The belt may not have your name stamped on it (this one I agree with)
You will be tested on your physical, mental, and pop culture trivia abilities. They can test you at any time. The government can come in your home at any time just to drink your beer (even if it’s your last one) and look around. You must update your gun records more frequently than you update your Facebook status. A change of ownership of guns through private or public sale must be reported and will cost $24.63. Failure to do so automatically forfeits the right to own a firearm and you would be subject to a year in jail, a swirly, and an Indian burn.
There is a child provision clause on page 16 section 305 stating a child-access provision. Gun must be locked in a safe and inaccessible to any child under 18. The government must have access to the combination and may ask you to change the combination if it’s a hard one to remember. If the safe doesn’t go with the room or disrupts the flow of Feng Shui, you could be subject to a fine of $5,000,000,000 (no checks) and punishment of up to 5 years in prison.
http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h45/text
It is long and lengthy, but how much frickin’ time do you spend on YouTube? It explains the bill and how much it will infringe on our rights as Americans.
Peter Boyle (I think he was also on “Everybody Loves Raymond”) is on top of this as well as that whole Nancy Pelosi thing. Listen to him on KHOW 630 AM in the morning if you don’t have any decent CDs. He suggests the best way to fight this is to tell all your friends about it and "spring into action". Like “Hands Across America.” Something like that.
It says in one of those documents that the Forefathers wrote when America first split from Time-Warner and England that we can totally have guns. We don’t want to lose our gun privileges! What’s next? A ban on compound bows?
PLEASE forward this to everyone you know!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
May News, 2009
Let’s see, what’s going on in May?
Obama wants to close Guantanamo Bay. Oh, come on! Pontiac is closing their doors, as are a million dealerships, but Guantanamo is up to us! To be fair, it’s just not making the money that it used to and I think I know why: the unions. They get paid whether they’re torturing or not. If they’re Waterboarding or just on the golf course, they get paid the same. So long, Guantanamo. A lot of killer memories there.
Dick Cheney’s against closing Guantanamo, apparently. He’s in appearing in more films now than Michael Caine. But how can you not love the big lug? He’s like the neighbor who used to yell at you to get off his lawn but then you found out that deep down, he’s really a softy. Then he shot your other neighbor in the face with a shotgun.
A Somali pirate appeared in court to face charges of piracy, hostage-taking, and firearms. When the judge asks how he pleads, what will the judge do when he just says, “Haaar!” That can’t go over well. Especially when you reek of Captain Morgan. He may ask him to walk the plank (with 90 days suspended).
Did you know that President Obama might outlaw guns? I didn’t. A guy in Cedar Post Pawn said that he might. Suffice it to say, hand guns and ammo are excruciatingly hard to get right now. Know why? Obama might outlaw guns. While this may be a sore subject for many conservative-minded people, I have to say, people are making BANK over this rumor. Those people? Gun manufacturers and ammo manufacturers. From a financial standpoint, they’re making WAY more money than if we had a Republican in office. Smart thinking, NRA! I thought you guys were less-than-intelligent during the Charlton Heston years, but damn. You gotta give it up to those boys in orange! And what’s with the outfits, hunters? They make golfers look like Brad Pitt.
So Pontiac’s a done deal and Chrysler had to merge with Fiat. Awesome! When I was in high school, if you drove a Fiat? You got a beatin’ cause, obviously, you weren’t cool. Today? If you drive a Chrysler you NEED a beatin’ cause you’re not cool. Why did THOSE TWO merge? That’s like Clay Aiken and John Mayer starting a band. A boy band, probably. No, probably more of a “boy band.”
The economy is in shambles and China won’t let us borrow any more money (the Cedar Post is the same with me right now). So we just decided, “Hey, we got an HP, let’s just print as much money as we need!” Good idea! Why didn’t we think of that 50 years ago? Oh yeah, cause that devalues our dollar and in one year we’ll be blowing Mexico for pocket change. And according to CNN, they’re not very clean (hence the swine flu).
Sean Penn decided to withdraw his separation papers from his wife, Robin Wright-Penn. Duh! Have you seen the Princess Bride? Even if she asked me to “fetch her that pail of water”, I’d be “as you wish” all fucking night. Think about it the way I think about it: you’re Spicolli and she’s Princess Buttercup. Are you gonna do any better? Not bloody likely.
Well, that’s May. The month we get ready for June. Oh, and if you’re pissed that you got this? Don’t worry, according to the Mayan calendar, I am only going to be able to write e-mails until December 21, 2012. Which is nice.
I’m just saying...
Obama wants to close Guantanamo Bay. Oh, come on! Pontiac is closing their doors, as are a million dealerships, but Guantanamo is up to us! To be fair, it’s just not making the money that it used to and I think I know why: the unions. They get paid whether they’re torturing or not. If they’re Waterboarding or just on the golf course, they get paid the same. So long, Guantanamo. A lot of killer memories there.
Dick Cheney’s against closing Guantanamo, apparently. He’s in appearing in more films now than Michael Caine. But how can you not love the big lug? He’s like the neighbor who used to yell at you to get off his lawn but then you found out that deep down, he’s really a softy. Then he shot your other neighbor in the face with a shotgun.
A Somali pirate appeared in court to face charges of piracy, hostage-taking, and firearms. When the judge asks how he pleads, what will the judge do when he just says, “Haaar!” That can’t go over well. Especially when you reek of Captain Morgan. He may ask him to walk the plank (with 90 days suspended).
Did you know that President Obama might outlaw guns? I didn’t. A guy in Cedar Post Pawn said that he might. Suffice it to say, hand guns and ammo are excruciatingly hard to get right now. Know why? Obama might outlaw guns. While this may be a sore subject for many conservative-minded people, I have to say, people are making BANK over this rumor. Those people? Gun manufacturers and ammo manufacturers. From a financial standpoint, they’re making WAY more money than if we had a Republican in office. Smart thinking, NRA! I thought you guys were less-than-intelligent during the Charlton Heston years, but damn. You gotta give it up to those boys in orange! And what’s with the outfits, hunters? They make golfers look like Brad Pitt.
So Pontiac’s a done deal and Chrysler had to merge with Fiat. Awesome! When I was in high school, if you drove a Fiat? You got a beatin’ cause, obviously, you weren’t cool. Today? If you drive a Chrysler you NEED a beatin’ cause you’re not cool. Why did THOSE TWO merge? That’s like Clay Aiken and John Mayer starting a band. A boy band, probably. No, probably more of a “boy band.”
The economy is in shambles and China won’t let us borrow any more money (the Cedar Post is the same with me right now). So we just decided, “Hey, we got an HP, let’s just print as much money as we need!” Good idea! Why didn’t we think of that 50 years ago? Oh yeah, cause that devalues our dollar and in one year we’ll be blowing Mexico for pocket change. And according to CNN, they’re not very clean (hence the swine flu).
Sean Penn decided to withdraw his separation papers from his wife, Robin Wright-Penn. Duh! Have you seen the Princess Bride? Even if she asked me to “fetch her that pail of water”, I’d be “as you wish” all fucking night. Think about it the way I think about it: you’re Spicolli and she’s Princess Buttercup. Are you gonna do any better? Not bloody likely.
Well, that’s May. The month we get ready for June. Oh, and if you’re pissed that you got this? Don’t worry, according to the Mayan calendar, I am only going to be able to write e-mails until December 21, 2012. Which is nice.
I’m just saying...
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