Ban Brokeback Mountain!

As you may have heard, Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller has refused to show the movie Brokeback Mountain in any of his theaters. I, for one, applaud this.

I know what you’re thinking: Don, you’re usually pretty liberal about these things. Not this time. I think the whole premise of the movie is, in fact, immoral. If you think it’s morally acceptable for two men to be cowboys, then you are dead wrong. Dead wrong! I don’t mean to sound ultra-conservative, but I do not believe that cowboys have a place in our society.

People will argue, “Hey, they’re human. They should have the same rights as you and me.” They might be entitled to the same rights, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. It seems like every parade I watch, there are more and more cowboys. It’s like a spreading virus. As far as “rights” go, you give them an inch and they take a mile. We let them have their poetry and their roping and then what happens? You can’t walk down the street without seeing gun racks in their trucks, belt buckles bigger than CDs, and Skoal.

The fact that they try and promote Brokeback Mountain as a “love story” is preposterous. It’s a cowboy movie, end of story.

Some people who have seen the movie will tell you, “Oh, it’s just a love story. It’s really well done, actually.” Whatever. I’m not against love stories; in fact, I rather like them. But two guys who decide to be cowboys, is against God’s plan. There are many verses in the bible that support the notion that “cowboys” are a metaphor for evil.

And what about our children? Do we want them to think that it’s okay to be a cowboy? Admittedly, I don’t have kids. But suppose one of my nephews decided to come out and announce to the family that he wants to be a cowboy. I don’t know how I’d handle it. I really don’t. And with movies like Brokeback Mountain, he might be inclined to feel like it’s okay.

It seems more and more people are deciding that the cowboy lifestyle is for them. I really don’t know if it’s something they’re born with, or something they learn; all I know is it’s wrong. I’m not perfect and I hate to pass judgment, but it’s just wrong to be a cowboy. I know that a lot of women think it’s “cool” to have cowboy friends – not me!

So the movie won four Golden Globe awards. Does that make it art? Absolutely not. The only thing it did for me was give me a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I see Jake Gyllenhaal or Heath Ledger, because now I can only see them as cowboys. They’re typecast as far as I’m concerned.

Look, it’s not like I’m totally unsympathetic to cowboys. I’m not a hater. Maybe they can’t help it. Maybe it’s not their fault. Maybe they just need some help or medication for their disease. I don’t know. I do know that people seeing this immoral movie only supports the pattern of behavior.

Sometimes a society has to stand up and be counted. Let your fellow citizens know how you feel about cowboys. Tell everyone you know: Don’t see Brokeback Mountain!

Thank you and God Bless.