Some Phrases Don't Make Sense

I was talking with my mom last night. I must have been feeling sorry for myself because she told me, "Life is what you make it." Is this true? Oh, no! I'm screwed. Life is what I make it? I can't even make macaroni & cheese, let alone design an enjoyable life for myself. She said that's "just a phrase." Apparently, a lot of people say that. I think that just because people say things, doesn't make them true.

Like "thoughts and prayers." The president uses this one a lot. "Mr. Ledger's family is in our thoughts and prayers." That's nice. But isn't it a bit redundant? Thoughts and prayers? Isn't prayers enough? Who prays for someone without thinking about them first? No one! Well, I guess unless it's a Freudian slip. You're just praying along and then all of the sudden a name just slips out. You think "Who do I just pray for? Man, I haven't thought about her in years!"

"Drinker." My mom uses this a lot. "Oh, you can tell. He's a drinker." So? We all are. We have to be. If you don't eat and drink at least a few times a week, you'll die. Even if you eat but don't drink, you're gone. You have to drink. We learn it from birth. Look at babies. When they want a drink, they cry and cry until they get one! I have an uncle like that…

"International Incident." It sounds so dramatic. Until you think about it. Everything is an international incident. Really. If it happens anywhere in the world, it's international. If it's… anything, it's an incident. That time you were in Tijuana and you had to pull over along the side of the road and drop a deuce because you ignored the warnings and drank the water? That was an international incident! Move over Britney, we have an international incident here!

I don't know. Maybe I think too much. Or not enough. Last night when I was talking to my mom, she told me not to let things bother me and for heaven's sake stop e-mailing people. "Life is short," she said. Life is short? No, it isn't. My life is not short. At all. As a matter of fact, I think this is the longest thing I've ever been through in my life. It just drags on. And on. It's just so arduous and boring, I just want to skip to the end and find out how it ends. I'll bet it has something to do with Delta Airlines…

But I digress. But I have stopped using phrases that don't make sense. I just like certain phrases that have that certain je ne sais quoi. But that's just me. Speaking of me, I'd better go see about doing something with my life because apparently it's whatever I make it. Great. Good thing it's short.