Really Interesting Facts

I just got an e-mail from a friend that had a whole bunch of unique "facts." I've actually got the e-mail a few times. Since it's in an e-mail, I guess all of these facts are true. It's written. But it made me wonder, what if I were to do this? You know, I know a lot of "stuff." Some people call it useless knowledge, some call it trivia. Whatever you call it, here are just some nuggets of my knowledge:

· Jennifer Lopez's proctologist could charge twice as much—but he doesn't. He's a good guy.
· 82% of men like to think of cool or funny personalized license plate ideas during sex.
· Al Qaeda turns down 10,000 applicants a year because of whom they voted for on American Idol.
· Most intellectual children are also afraid of the light.
· The Marines also discourage Private Displays of Affection.
· Most proctologists have expressed an interest in the ass from a very young age.
· 93% of males wished there was a Nintendo Wii game where you could hit a guy (preferably a friend) in the balls.
· Even Leonardo DiCaprio himself can't believe girls find him sexy.
· Al Gore still orders his Big Macs in the Styrofoam container.
· Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are really, really smart.
· New York City takes a cat nap from time to time.
· J.R.R. Tolkien didn't write Lord of the Rings—he sent a text to this chick in New York, trying to impress her. She printed in out and had it published, introducing the world to Orlando Bloom.
· Almost all dogs are bad dogs.
· The 80's were just there as a joke.
· Mike Huckabee's grandfather was named Herschel Huckabstein.
· Most editors of newspapers reject letters to the editor start begin with, "Dear Editor, I never thought this would happen to me, but…" Learned THAT one the hard way.
· The Spice Girls listen to Neil Young's "After the Goldrush" on their tour bus.
· Dane Cook's mom doesn't think he's funny at all. Neither do I.
· The earth is bi-polar.
· Cell phones cause cancer, lymphoma and diarrhea. They do, however, enable you to find out what activity other people are currently engaged in while you are at Happy Hour.
· Left handed people are smarter than right handed people, but only in theory.
· South Americans don't find "Lake Titikaka" funny at all.
· William Shatner was turned down for the lead role in "Titanic." DiCaprio did a good job though…
And finally…
· Most women strippers that are putting their way through college are studying to be a cashier.

So, forward this to everyone you know, almost to the point of annoyance. People need to know this stuff. This is just some intimate knowledge of mine, not just something you'd read in an almanac. And it's all true. All of it. I'm just saying…